The next time you feel activated, anxious, or ungrounded, try this gentle psychosensory sequence to help settle your nervous system. Adapted from Havening Techniques®, these self-soothing touch exercises use gentle, intentional movement to promote emotional regulation, calm the amygdala, and bring your body back into a state of safety and resonance.

Spend about three minutes on each move (or complete at least ten slow, deliberate rounds). As you practice, anchor yourself in the present moment by tracking your breath or noticing the physical sensations of warmth and contact. Once you complete the sequence, feel free to linger on whichever movement offered the deepest sense of comfort.

1. Palm Circles

• Positioning: Bring your hands together in front of your body.
• Placement: Press your palms flat against each other.
• Movement: Slowly rub your palms together in opposing, continuous circles. Let the motion mirror the soothing, reassuring pace of washing your hands under warm water.

2. Havening Hug

• Positioning: Cross your arms comfortably across your chest.
• Placement: Place your hands flat on your opposite upper arms (left hand to right shoulder, right hand to left shoulder).
• Movement: Gently stroke downward from the tops of your shoulders down to your elbows.
• Return: Lift your hands back to your shoulders and repeat. Keep the movement strictly downward (avoid rubbing back up), imagining your fingers as soft droplets in a warm, gentle rain.

3. Face Heart

• Positioning: Raise both hands to your face.
• Placement: Place the soft pads of your fingertips at the center of your forehead.
• Movement: Stroke upward and outward across your brow line toward your temples, forming the top curve of a heart. Continue tracing downward along the sides of your face, bringing your fingertips together at your chin to complete the shape.
• Return: Gently lift your fingers, return to the center of your forehead, and repeat.

4. Cheek Stroke

• Positioning: Rest your hands slightly lower on your face.
• Placement: Place your fingertips softly on your upper cheekbones, just below your eyes.
• Movement: Stroke slowly outward along your cheekbones toward your temples.
• Pacing: Keep your touch feather-light, as if gently wiping away a tear.

Co-Regulation: Sharing the Practice

These somatic tools are wonderful self-soothing practices, but they can also build deep connection when shared with a partner, friend, or loved one:

• Mirrored Practice: Sit facing each other and practice the movements at the same time. Mirroring one another’s rhythm provides mutual support in slowing the nervous system down.
• Relational Face Heart: Allow your loved one to gently trace the Face Heart path on your face. Switch roles to offer mutual grounding and nurture your bond.
• Partner Havening Hug: Receive the Havening Hug from a loved one, either standing in front of you or hugging you from behind, as they stroke downward from your shoulders to your elbows.

If you are seeking relational, body-aware therapy for individuals, couples/ partners/ polycules, or family systems, I am here to support you. I provide telehealth sessions statewide across California, as well as limited in-person sessions in Oakland. Reach out today to schedule a free 15-minute consultation, and let’s explore what returning to resonance feels like for you.